LostIdentity

In Search of Spiritual Contentment....

I am as lost as I was maybe 4 years ago, when i just finished my A levels, awaiting call-up to the army..... The impending question in my mind was " what should i study for my university degree?" Two obvious choices were architecture and engineering..... and i chose engineering out of obvious reasons which i gather most of you would have known.... If you ask me now whether I regret it.... I cannot tell you straight that I don't.... but I would say that if given a second chance I would have taken that same path again.... Not that my interest lies in engineering, in fact, my interest lies in the arts......

Currently.... 4 years down the road.... many things happened..... big small... eventful, uneventful.... to me, my friends, my loved ones, and everyone else i know.... we are all living in this constantly changing world... that is the only thing that doesn't change.... the phenomenon of things evolving and changing slowly or rapidly around us...... Time do not wait.....

In the past, I used to have cultivated the ability to put my past behind me..... but many years down the road.... perhaps i was living a rather undisturbed and "blissful" life for all these years.... I seemed to have lost this ability.... the strength to put what's happened all behind..... I think running away from your problems do not work at all.... It is only when one accept that what has happened is inevitable.... as somethings in life are..... that we are able to really move on in life.....

I am tired of running away from unhappy thoughts and memories..... tired of trying so hard in making myself feel better.... tired of being where I am now...... I do not want to live my life mourning for what has happened and is gone...... I just hope to.....

accept what has happened gracefully..... and know that sometimes..... acceptance is the best remedy....... I do not want to fight for things which is not meant for me anymore.....

I just want to be me......

currently reading "Tuesday with Morrie"..... I only read a few pages but already feel that it is a good book.... will give a short book review soon.... haha..... *nerdy look*

posted by heng @ 1:23 PM